This is a discussion copied from an Internet discussion forum:
My second husband and I were pregnant and happy. He has 3 children from a prior marriage, and all seemed peaceful. His ex wife, upon learning he was having a child with me engaged an attorney and upped the child support to the point where half of his income after taxes is being paid to her.
Now, instead of being able to stay home with my new daughter, I will have to go to work to support her. And if it ever goes bad in my marriage, I will receive very little support.
Think hard before marrying a man with children and a living ex-wife.
I believe you will be entitled to your full share if you divorce. He will not have much of a life left though.
Full share? Not in Texas, it's a non alimony state.
You raise a good point; by being forced to work, I will have income which will count against me for alimony. I am in CA, thankfully.
If you are feeling distant from him (emotional neglect) or he is lashing out at you (emotional rape) - do not start going to work. You need to act now to protect whatever benefits you are entitled to later.
He has been very distant and stressed, and I do feel that we are drifting apart. Plus, I do not feel I should have to work due to his past mistakes.
I recommend if possible you make it to the 7-10 year mark before divorcing him - that will yield maximum benefits.
And don't forget, when you do drop the bomb - get a lawyer first and he has to cover the costs.
I did not know this. Thanks for the advice!
Well, I have the child, and I do feel quite neglected. I think maybe now is the time to cash out. Question: he has an inheritance - can I still get a piece of it after the marriage ends?
Yes! You get a piece out of every dollar that he gets for the next eighteen years - and by then laws will have been changed to possibly raise it to beyond 18.
Don't go to work. The Ex will take you back for an increase based on more household income from your job. Find a job under the table...
The court's standard bullshit line on this is "don't have more kids if you can't support the ones you already have..."
This is what I am thinking. Maybe just cash out now, sell the house at some point, and let him pay until the inheritance hits. In the meantime, I can remarry, after a little "playtime".
I do feel like he promised me happiness and now it is all just sadness and I have to work.